Pumafication.....

This is an article i had written sometime back for my college newspaper.....it didnt get published this same way though. Read through and feel free to comment.....

I guess i just wanted to grab the attention of readers to a funny trend which many college goers(well, at least in my college) follow...

Puma.n\-a large American wild cat with a plain tawny to grayish coat, found from Canada to Patagonia…..

That is the meaning of Puma according to the Mobile Oxford Dictionary. Though the guys at Oxford made one big factual error. The “PUMA” is not only limited to the wilderness of USA. We believe it packed itself in a box, loaded itself on a BOEING 747 and flew all the way to India, and now can be found roaming around everywhere; especially in college campuses. The only difference is that the regal cat has been reduced to a puny moulded insignia; in which it appears to jump, sadly even from slippers!!!

Its funny how Indians, especially the youth have a fascination for all things American; whether it be riveted jeans (LEVI’s) or even sugar coated chocolate(m & m’s). The only criteria for something to be hip and happening it seems, is the amount of digits on the price tag. THE MORE, the MERRIER!!!

We wonder why these multinational companies spend so much time and money on advertising their products, when we have walking talking billboards all around us. No seriously, just observe how many people are dressed from head to toe with PUMA merchandise. PUMA headbands, PUMA shirts, PUMA bags, PUMA watches, tracks, slippers, shoes etc. etc. And we were under the misconception that PUMA only made shoes. Now, how exactly does a company that forces kids in 3rd world countries to make shoes for other more "privileged" kids in 3rd world countries start manufacturing watches or even high end sunglasses.

Anyway the best and sometimes the worst part about a successful company like PUMA is the range. Out of about a 100 options you start with 10; which narrows down to 10 after a quick glance to at the price tag and then out of a blue the number triples to 15 after picking out the desired colours. This interesting phenomenon allows us to see the same PUMA shirt in different shades along with the insignia; and if youre lucky you might just spot a metrosexual PINK!!!

No don’t get us wrong we don’t hate PUMA. We just dislike the idea of people being so loud and open about the fact that they own PUMA goods. Be humble fellow college-goers!!

In fact its good to see a multinat make it big in India. Its an indicator that India is in hyper-drive on the freeway to ECONOMIC STARDOM. Recession or no recession the American jumping cat has definitely got its spring powered boots on and it doesn’t seem to be landing on earth anytime soon….

signed

The Nutty Optimist.........

p.s. I finally got my dell laptop.....YAYYY...kinda busy with unboxing it!!! thats why the old article....

THE CURRENCY OF LOVE....or....the whackyness of a fool in love.....

HOLD UP....wait a minute!!!

Before you get any bright ideas and start believing that im in love, let me clarify that CUPID's tranquilizer has not yet penetrated the titanium coating on my skin!!!!

NOOO....this is about something much much more entertaining...(NOT TALKING ABOUT MILEY CYRUS's NOSE PEIRCING....trust me!)......

Dunno about you but i usually find that people love to go all PICASSO on their currency notes....especially the TEN rupee notes......whether it be defacing Mr. Gandhis already patterned face or testing a fresh pen by drawing some revolutionary patterns....PEOPLE just love to scribble anything on them notes....some mention god's name, some write the amount on the top note of the bundle, some....well some just like to burn it and put various coloured patterns on it....totally disfiguring it!!!!(BY the way, havent actually figured out what those extra colour marks are for......PAAN maybe!!!)

And some like to imagine little people running around, playing lacrosse on the notes...(LOOKS AROUND searching for someone who agrees with him.......)

Anyway.....so there i was counting how much money i had left over from an outing so that i could give it back to MOM......(I SUCK AT MAINTAINING MONEY......honestly id make DONALD TRUMP bankrupt in a few minutes if he would give me all his cash! Maybe then he would sop making so many seasons of THE APPRENTICE)...and i found a 50 rupee note which at first seemed pretty normal BUT THEN....i flipped it and this is what i saw!!!

sorry for the shabby photography.....i guess my 2 MP camera has too many scratches on its lens.....

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

A DECLARATION OF LOVE ON A 50 rupee note.....WOW.......Kritika, if youre reading this your boyfriend\husband whatever must really like you.......IN AN OUTLANDISH WAY OF COURSE!!!!!

NOW me being the nut that i am, started analysing KRITIKAs and MR. X's relationship status when they performed this AWESOME example of using the power of FREE LANGUAGE (and of course ball point pen ink....way to go REYNOLDS!!). These are the few possibilities of what happened that fateful day, that I could conjure:-

1. KRITIKA's BOYFRIENDS DAD WORKS HAND IN HAND WITH THE RBI AND THEREFORE HAS SEVERAL 50 RUPEE NOTES TO USE AS NAPKINS (maybe some as toilet paper too....disgusting i know!)

2. KRITIKA's BOYFRIEND SUFFERS FROM A NEW FORM OF RETINAL MALFUNCTION WHERE THE ABILITY OF THE EYE TO FIND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORMAL PAPER AND PAPER USED TO MAKE CURRENCY IS WEAKENED

3. KRITIKA AND HER BOYFRIEND WERE ROBBING A BANK TOGETHER AND THIS WAS THEIR LAST ATTEMPT TO SHOW AFFECTION TO EACH OTHER BEFORE A BSF SNIPER BLEW THEIR BRAINS OUT (very Martin Scorcesish i say....)

4. KRITIKA AND HER BOYFRIEND ARE SO DEEP IN LOVE THAT THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING (good going if this is the case....im sure your parents will come and identify your bodies after you both jump off the LE MERIDIEN to say goodbye to this "CRUEL WORLD"........OK I NEED TO STOP SEEING THOSE TYPE OF MOVIES......brrrrrrr)

5. writers block.......darn

Anyway whatever be the case it was pretty neat to find that note lying in MY wallet (i say this because LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS are a gift that i have not yet recieved, neither will.....by the rate im going)........I appreciate their spirit though...BOY do i wanna see the look on MR. Y.V. Reddy's face.....hehe

Moral of the story.....IF YOU REALLY WANNA SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE SPECIAl.......just do it. Dont worry about where you say it, how you say it or why you say it....if its in your heart and you gotta let it out....JUST DO IT.....and then wait for a person like me to get my hands on what you did and write a blog entry about it........(insert evil laughter)

signed

The Nutty Optimist

P.S. i cant wait till someone from the al-Qaida sprays "Osama was here" on the ceiling of the GEorge Bush's ranch home.......or even "ZARDARI CAN GO JUMP IN A LAKE FILLED WITH PIRANHAS" in big bold letters at the top of the PArliament building............

P.P.s. Ill be hiding in my underground bunker if the feds come looking....

P.P.P.s. OK i know youre tired of this but just so you know this is the continuation of my early blog REALITY IS FREQUENTLY INACCURATE.......