The battle of poori!

hey sorry i couldnt update....exams and assignments...never knew that theyd actually grill us in engineering...anyway im sending this one to my editor(there have been major changes in my college newspaper management....more about it later)...Anyway this is the unedited version of something very close to my stomach....all of you eho stay in hostel know that food over there tends to be oversucky.....especially if youre not in your hometown!!! so here goes....ENJOY?!??!

WAR.....hate it or love it, you just cant ignore it. They say war affects everyone, young and old, loudly obnoxious and weirdly silent, FAT and MALNUTRITIONED......everyone! Its easier to start a war amongst us adolescent hostellers with soaring adrenaline levels....it takes a minor bone of contention for us to shed our images of “humble” social animals to bloodthirsty rampaging guinea pigs....YES GUINEA PIGS....dont let their whiskers fool YOU!

About the battle....well, it takes place on the days when we get poori in our mess (actually we have an erratic schedule in the mess....it never fails to STARTLE US...which isn’t a bad thing). There is something about those little round, oil laden deep fried snacks that just grabs our attention.....maybe its the beautiful golden texture, maybe its the oil oozing out, maybe its the intoxicating odour.....and C.R.A.C.K., W.H.A.C.K. and me LOVE THE POORIS HERE....no matter how many gelasils we have to gobble afterwards!

The entire hostel somehow gets the smell when there is poori in the mess (C.R.A.C.K. says that the ability to detect good food is in our genes!). And once those gates open....its all about how fast, how ruthless, how selfish and how tactful you can be. The first tray is brought out we pounce for those cholesterol ridden treats in a manner that would put savage, flesheating werewolves to shame. In fact its so intimidating that even the guys in the mess prefer to stay inside the safety of the kitchen.......The battle rages on for the most fluffy, the most crisp and sometimes even the largest poori....and chaos reigns.......Pooris fly around like bullets....There are of course casualties, some get hot oil on their hands, some burn the tips of their fingers, some even drop food on their clothes while fighting for these WMC’s(Weapons of Mass Consumption). The facts are simple;”FIGHT OR STARVE!!!”

However in these desperate times, C.R.A.C.K. and me depend on our only ray of hope.....W.H.A.C.K.....There’s a reason why he’s known as WEIRDLY HEROIC AVERAGE COLLEGE KID. As soon as we grab our plates W.H.A.C.K. makes a run for the tray of pooris as if it were a portal to Willy wonka’s chocolate factory. He dodges the huge dogpile of humans and forces his way through the heaviest of crowds...HE’S LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN USAIN BOLT AND A WORLD CLASS RUSSIAN GYMNAST...watching him get those little buggers is like watching a perfected dance routine!

Somebody needs to stop this battle....it often puts us in weird situations...You know how we always tend to take more than we eat...OK, MUCh MORE!....and when W.H.A.C.K. sees his hard earned pooris being thrown into the bin, he obviously gives us this expression.....C.R.A.C.K. and me feel bad and instead of owning up, we start pointing fingers at each other, sometimes even coming up with silly reasons like “the fly in my poori was actually moving”. Who could’ve thought that something so tiny could actually lead to up an article in the college newspaper!!!! Funny eh.....

thenuttyoptimist